Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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