can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
