My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Randomize