playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
