JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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