Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
