My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
