i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I stole a fireplace last night.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.