Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
