I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
