she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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