Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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