Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
