He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize