i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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