He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
