i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
