So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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