went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I see more hoeing in ur future
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize