i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
