you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
