she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize