I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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