i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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