im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
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The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.