Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.