She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together