when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.