CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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