How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
