Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
