Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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