I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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