Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
