Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
