i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
