He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
my liver is dry heaving
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
