ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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