I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just forgot I was standing up.
I think people are normalizing furries
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
