Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
