I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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