no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
