Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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