I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
he thought i was a dude.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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