I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
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Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
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