You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
