I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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