Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
