A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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