Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
