A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
third nipple confirmed
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
