Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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