what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
These tits shall not be calmed
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
