either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
