bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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