he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
