It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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