she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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