Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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