so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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