I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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