and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
