too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
